I’m grateful to the people who have taken the time to read my thoughts; it makes me feel more connected to those who suffer in silence as I do, in some strange meta cognitive way. 🙂
I took a couple weeks off from writing because with the summer coming to an end I really wanted to finish up a few outdoor projects. Truthfully, I’ve been making my backyard a fully fenced, 100% childproof wonderland. Like most of us who have spent everything they have and more trying to conceive, my family is on a budget. My gifts may be few, but I’m resourceful and I know how to do a lot with a little! So I looted my grandfather’s barn and scored a whole lot of free lumber. It was old, dirty, and not cut squarely, but sometimes a day spent measuring and cutting can be just the therapy I need. Then the next day I spent clutching my pink yet powerful “grip for ladies” hammer and pounding that lumber into a fence. Speaking only for myself, when hopeless and fear about infertility creep in to my otherwise happy life, there is no better cure than to go out and build something!
Why the on-a-shoestring budget backyard wonderland? In my mind’s eye, the place where intuition and optimism collide with varying realistic results, I see myself with a big ol’ baby belly and very little enthusiasm for being the non-stop entertainment source for my will-be 3.5 year old son. Essentially, what we have here is a case of me working my tushy off now so that I can be lazy next summer. If I really am baking a baby or two by the time June rolls around, then lazy I shall be!
What do you do to relieve the overwhelming emotions that sneak up on you when you’re going through treatment? I can’t wait to hear what other mamas who are looking to “borrow genes” do to keep the yucky feelings away. Together we can help each other, and after all, that is the goal of this blog.