Adoption Timeline

September 2014: Experience revelation that we should be adopting, not moving forward with egg donor cycle. Begin researching adoption laws and agencies ad nauseum. PSA: For anyone considering adoption, educate yourself to the tiniest detail about adoption laws in your state and any other state you think you might be involved in your adoption. They are ALL different!

October 2014: Decided on an agency we would like to work with and began building a relationship with the adoption coordinator. Had a lot of conversations about what we were looking for and if that matched the agency’s philosophy. It does! We apply and are accepted. Life is good.

November 2014: Paperchasing and the beginning of our home study!

December 2, 2014: All of our paperwork is turned in. All of it! I am oh so glad I decided to implement a military precision filing system last year, because it made finding all of the obscure but necessary paperwork possible. There were over 30 documents that needed to be created or acquired in ordered to fulfill the paperwork requirements. People are not kidding when they say it is a lot of paperwork. However, it is a small price to pay and nothing at all in the big picture when you bring that baby home!

December 3, 2014: Learned that we have to wait for our background checks and fingerprints to clear before we can get the visits from the social worker out of the way. Grrrr. I have no one to blame but MYSELF, since I was told to send in the fingerprints right away. Instead, I sat on them for ten days while I finished collecting ALL the documents so that I could send everything in all at once in a tidy little package. We are not worried about our background checks, since the hubs and I are a couple of squares who have never had any run-ins with the law, but it is still 2-3 weeks we need to wait before we can move forward. That’s okay, because I can use the time to create our epic family portfolio (digital scrapbook) that will be presented to interested birth mothers to get an idea of what our family is like. Talk about the best homework assignment ever!

December 30, 2014: Adoption Portfolio (big huge book) done! Now all that remains is to have the backgrounds checks finally crawl through the system and be visited by a social worker. Let’s get this show on the road!

January 19, 2015: Background checks cleared, social worker visits done, adoption portfolios ordered. Here we go!

January 21, 2015: Our adoption coordinator notified us that our portfolio/expectant parent letters arrived published neatly in their book form, so she can officially present us to expectant birth parents. We are LIVE! This is really happening!

February 6, 2015: Shown our first birthmother profile! We happily tell our agency to please share our portfolio with the expectant mother.

February 20, 2015: Presented with independent adoption opportunity outside our agency, which is outside of our budget, and risky to boot. We decline with heavy hearts.

March 8, 2015: Our portfolio has been shown once, a month ago. Haven’t heard back. Not feeling super encouraged so far, but trying to keep our spirits up.

April 1, 2015: We get the call that we were chosen by an expectant couple to adopt their baby boy, due June 9. Overjoyed doesn’t come close to what we were feeling!

April 17, 2015: We meet with both expectant parents at a lunch that lasts 2 hours and 45 minutes! Everyone hits it off and we move forward with the match.

May 5, 2015: Communication between the agency and the expectant mom has become spotty. The fragile “match” is officially dissolved and we go back into the waiting pool.

May 6, 2015: A friend of mine from an adoption group contacted me to share that her daughter was giving birth soon and would like an open adoption. The daughter liked our profile and is interested in us adopting her baby!
May 12. 2015: The daughter gives birth to the baby and makes the decision to parent.
May 25, 2015: We are contacted about an immediate placement, but learn the next day we were not chosen.

June 5, 2015: We are contacted about an adoption situation for a woman giving birth in a few days, but we aren’t chosen.

September 1st, 2015: After months of sadness and radio silence, we get the call we have been dreaming of…a baby boy just born, waiting for us to drive to the hospital and get him! Of course we do, and welcome our baby boy C to our family. 🤗

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