What Dreams May Come, part 1

Many years ago, probably when I was in my early 20s but before I met the hubs, I had a dream that I have never forgotten. I was in a backyard, playing with a little boy with blonde hair, pale skin, and eyes so dark they were almost black. That was the whole dream; we were just playing and laughing. I recognized in the dream this must be my son, but it didn’t feel prophetic or like a life-changing epiphany. Just an ordinary dream where I felt very happy and content. I don’t remember most of my dreams, but this one was vivid and has never faded from my mind.

I wrote about it in my journal “just in case” I had such a little boy one day. Also, I didn’t want to risk forgetting. I told the hubs about it years later, even after we were dealing with infertility, as I recall. The hubs is a very grounded, realistic sort of person so this revelation about my dream didn’t exactly full him with confidence that it was a prophecy waiting to be fulfilled. And neither did I, to be honest. It just sort of stuck with me, and I like remembering the way I felt during the dream.

Also of note: I could never find a a picture that really nailed the coloring or true depiction of the boy in my dream, so I couldn’t describe him to the hubs very well. The description sounds fairly ordinary, but the boy wasn’t ordinary at all. His coloring was so unique. Then one day, I was watching the movie Love Actually, when this kid shows up!

The “Love Actually” kid, the one I recognized as being eerily similar to the kid I dreamed of years before.

I was so excited!  Although he wasn’t the exact replica of my dream-kid, he was darn close. Even though I was watching the movie alone, (since the hubs would rather be boiled alive in hot oil than watch this film), I was so excited to find a good representation of the kid from my years-old-yet-vivid-dream, I made him come take a look. He scanned the screen, said something like, “It is noted,” and went back to what he was doing.

Several more years passed, and we eventually became pregnant through IVF and had a baby boy. I wish I could say the memory of my dream propelled me through the most challenging moments of infertility, but it didn’t. I thought of it all the time, but I didn’t think of it as my destiny.  In fact, I thought I was having a girl until we had the anatomy scan.

If I’m being honest, this story would be much cooler if I had dreamed about a boy with red hair and green eyes and freckles, and then actually birthed that baby. The hubs and I have none of those as dominant traits. How awesome would that be to see a menagerie of recessive traits come to life after dreaming of a boy who possessed them? Spooky!

My dream was/is very special to me. I absolutely believe I got a little glimpse of life with my son at least ten years before his birth. Of course, the fact that he was born with the genetic traits of the dream-kid is not exactly a head scratcher. 

After all, the odds of giving birth to a boy are 50/50. My eyes are very, very dark and my skin is about as light as skin comes. The hubs has gorgeous blue eyes and is Caucasian too, but with a lot more color to his skin tone. We both have brown wavy/curly hair, but we were both very blonde as children. Therefore it is fairly obvious that E inherited his very light skin and dark eyes from me, and his blonde/wavy/unruly hair from both of us. Mystery solved.

But still, the dream is awesome. And frankly, I thought of it a lot during our infertility journey. Not as my guiding light but just as a small reminder of how happy I was playing in the backyard with the little boy in my dream.

Has anyone else had a dream that came true, or a similar experience? I hope you will share in the comments below!

5 thoughts on “What Dreams May Come, part 1

  1. My dreams are always vivid. When I was pregnant the second time I had a dream someone shot my husband in the head and then shot me in the stomach. The next day I miscarried. Then right before we found out we were pregnant I had a dream that a girl I used to go to school with was in the hospital having a baby and I had just found out I was having a boy. A week later she went into labor and I found out we were expecting

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  2. Pingback: What Dreams May Come: Part II  | Borrowed Genes

  3. I really enjoy reading your stories and hearing your perspective on starting a new family. My world was quite the opposite. I grew up without a dad (and an imagination like yours), so when I thought about raising a child my thoughts wondered to “I hope I don’t end up like my dad!” or “Wow, I have no idea how to be a dad!”

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    • Thanks Dan! That means so much to me. The hubs only had a father for a short time, he died when J was 5 and he wasn’t exactly father of the year during those few short years. I’m not sure what motivates him, but he is such a stellar dad I couldn’t begin to even put it into words. He’s just Superdad! I think a lot of it comes from wanting to give his kid the support he didn’t have from a dad. He did have an amazing mother though, and I give her all the credit for molding J into a great human being!

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  4. I often have vivid, lengthy dreams with complex “story lines” but so far none of them have come true. Not long ago though, I had a vivid but short dream that I am hoping comes true: I’d just given birth (don’t remember giving birth in the dream, but I was sweaty and puffed), and the doctor/nurse in the scrubs and mask kept wiping the baby down, over and over. The baby had ginger hair and quite a lot of it. I didn’t know what ít was, boy or girl, and I didn’t care. I just remember continuously stretching my arms out for it. Then they finally gave it to me, and in that moment, skin to skin, my whole existence finally made sense. It was a peace and clarity I can’t explain.

    So, I’m hoping that one comes true! 🙂

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