And Then There Were Two

We are living out soap opera twists left and right around here!  I’m not sure how we got so…lucky?

Yes, it’s true. Since the day we learned we were chosen to adopt, then not, then back on, then off again, then kinda on again, then probably off but no one really knew, we have experienced more drama than either of us have ever known in our lives put together. Here’s the thing about the hubs and I; we shun drama. We actively shun it. We are very happy with our calm, predictable lives. That doesn’t mean boring. It just means we don’t usually encounter things like paternity tests.

About that: Our adoption coordinator called this morning with some interesting news. Perhaps you recall the latest hang up regarding the adoption. Since that time, something came to light, and that something is that the paternity of the baby is unknown. It was previously assumed the father was the gentleman who changed his mind and didn’t want to sign the adoption papers, effectively squashing the adoption. There’s still a decent chance he is the father. However, there’s also a chance the baby was conceived with another man. If that’s the case, we could still adopt the baby because the other guy is in favor of it. The expectant mother would like to place baby boy with us either way. However, that can’t happen if the first guy is the father, since he doesn’t want to sign the papers. It’s all very Days of Our Lives. 

The next step is to do a DNA test to determine the paternity of the baby. The agency is looking into if this is a safe procedure to do in the third trimester. The expectant mother really wants to know the results so she can move forward with her adoption plan. The hubs and I really want to know too, but not at risk to her or the baby!  I’m not up-to-date on current paternity testing protocols.

We should know by the end of the day if a DNA test is possible. If not, the expectant parents and the hubs and I all get to wait until the baby is actually born, which, as I picture it in my mind, seems like a giant train wreck. On one hand you have a man waiting to see if the baby his wife gives birth to is his child.  I can only imagine that is going to be a devastating moment for him if it isn’t.   On the other hand, you have the hubs and I waiting to see if the paternity test shows that Guy #2 is the father, meaning we can adopt. If he isn’t, we dejectedly leave the hospital empty handed.  And you have a birthmother who has chosen adoption but may not be able to continue that plan if the baby is her husband’s, since he is not on board with that scenario. It’s a messy situation all around.  They truly are good people and I sure don’t want to see them in pain; we can only have faith that whatever the outcome, it is what is best for this baby boy.

I thought adoption was going to look more like a stork dropping a bundle off on our doorstep. NOPE. 

5 thoughts on “And Then There Were Two

  1. Pingback: Free | Borrowed Genes

  2. Wow, I cannot imagine how you must feel about all of this. I sure hope you guys are able to come to some resolution because waiting until the birth to find out if you can or can’t adopt this baby sounds very nerve wracking and like you said, disastrous all around. Prayers for everyone involved.


  3. Wow. A definite soap opera in the making. I’m praying that whatever happens, it will be in the best interest of all concerned. Thanks for keeping us posted, Holly. You are one tough woman!!


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