When I learned my eggs were for naught and I would need to use a donor, I took it in stride. Like, deeply, sincerely, in stride. I guess after many years of infertility I just felt grateful I still had options. The day my husband and I learned this news, we decided that the first people who would ever know we used an egg donor were any children conceived via donated egg.

This was a noble plan, and a good one. However, at some point I was seized with madness and I thought to myself, I’ve been through a lot of infertility shenanigans. I’ve experienced success and failure. I’ve had nearly every fertility treatment known to man. Perhaps, possibly, if I shared my experiences it might make someone else see it can be done, and there will be one less childless mother in the world. I’m motivated not because I see myself as A Shining Beacon of Hope for the infertile-I just know that I have personally found encouragement and hope online during my darkest infertility times, and I humbly would like join the ranks of those who have educated and inspired me.

And that is the thought process behind how the pendulum swung from one extreme to the other; my husband and I became part of a documentary, to be televised nationally on a major network, discussing our life living with infertility. Like I said, madness. Now we bide our time, fingers crossed, praying we made the right decision.